#☆*:・゚ ┊ we made these memories for ourselves
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A Promise Across Time | Bruce Wayne/Batman x Magician!Reader ft Justice League Dark [Part 3/3]
Synopsis: With his memories back, Bruce and Vivian plan to escape their cell before she gets burned at the stake and hanged for his crimes. Constantine comes to the rescue with a reckless plan.
Note: Mentions and descriptions of sexual acts are in this chapter.
“Enjoy that last embrace,” the soldier banged on their cell door, sneering at them.
Bruce and Vivian got up from the slab they were at and faced the soldier who interrupted their reunion.
“By sunset you,” he pointed at Bruce who held Vivian in his arms protectively. “Will hang for your crimes, and you, witch,” he spat at her direction, Bruce was about to attack him but Vivian held him at his place. “Will burn at the stake.”
The soldier left soon after and Vivian sighed. “I love reading about history but I hate living it. But I do love the fashion.”
Bruce laughed and squeezed her hand. “We need to get out of here.”
“Really? What gave you the idea your hanging or my dinner date to a fucking barbeque?”
“Can't you teleport us out of here?”
“I need to know the location. Its coordinates, its surroundings. But what I know is modern Gotham not 18th century Gotham. The last thing we need is to find ourselves in the middle of a war room with people with more guns.”
Bruce looked around the cell to find something to use as a weapon or break. He went to the small window and shook its bars. He pulled back with all his strength but can't remove it. Seeing his frustration, Vivian reminded him of her magic and removed the bars herself. She was about to jump up to see the outside but Bruce wrapped his arms around her legs and carried her up. Vivian looked out the small window.
“What do you see?” He asked.
“An alleyway. And a lot of people are shitting and – John?”
“John Constantine?” Bruce asked.
Vivian pulled back from the window as John’s face appeared there.
“I see you have already cleared the Bats’ jogged memory,” said Constantine. “And without burning him, congratulations. You just graduated from being an amateur in magic. Again.”
Vivian got down from Bruce's hold and said, “Get your ass in here Constantine so we can use the Eye of Chronos and we can get out of here before my appointment at town square.”
“Oh, yeah, I saw them making the stake earlier. And the gallows too. They placed it right across each other. Who knew an execution can be romantic.”
“Constantine,” Bruce scolded him.
“Calm down.” John disappeared from the window and appeared inside the cell with them. “Cozy, some rat droppings are there and human bile… anyway we can't use the Eye now.”
“What do you mean?” Vivian was panicking.
“I might have sat on it when we landed here – don't worry, I already fixed the bloody thing. It just needs to get more power.”
“How long?” Bruce asked.
“A couple of hours. That's why –” He stopped them both before they could speak. “-- I made arrangements. There's a ship at the docks. We can make a run for it and be at sea, far from Gotham or any English ship and wait for the Eye to work again and carry three passengers back.”
“Then what are we waiting for?” Vivian asked.
“An explosion to get all of the soldiers here and far from the docks. Which, I'm sure you can handle, Vee. A hint, the square is far enough, and can get everyone panicking here and not there.”
“I know where the square is,” Vivian summoned the seals again and cast the incantation. As planned, an explosion happened at the square. John checked the window and saw the flames and smoke that transformed to a large bat, scaring people around them. Screams were heard and the stampede to get to their homes.
“Now, we wait for your guards to come in and apprehend you,” John said. “Won't be long now.”
It did not take long for their door to be kicked down and a swarm of soldiers came in with bayonets pointed at them, some questioning where John came from, and other screaming for Vivian to stop the witchcraft she was doing at the square. Bruce and John had Vivian between them, away from the bayonets and the soldiers’ grasp.
“John, we need to go,” Vivian said to him.
“Not yet, this isn't all of them,” John whispered.
More and more soldiers started to be aggressive and Bruce had to disarm a man who came at them and took the weapon.
“John!”
“Alright, brace yourselves,” John opened a portal below them and all three of them fell from the floor and into the sea. Splashing into the salt water, Vivian struggled to get back up with the weight of her dress, rushing to her rescue, Bruce removed the heavy layers of her dress and carried her to the surface where they both gasped for air.
“You said there was a ship!” Bruce told Constantine.
“There was!” John looked around. “There it is. Bastards sailed off earlier than they're supposed to!”
“I'll do it!” Vivian summoned a portal and moved it past them, and one moment they were in the water, the next they were on the docks of the ship with men startled and pointing their weapons at them.
“Witch! Witch!” They cried out as they glared at Vivian.
“I'm getting tired of being called that,” she spat out salt water. She then moved her hand and the ropes of the ship started to move, capturing all of the men on the ship and tossed them out to sea. “Don't worry, if they can swim, they can reach the shore,” Vivian told Bruce as she got up from the ground. Another wave of a hand and they all were dry.
“Now, we need to get away from here before those men you mercifully threw off board tell the others with faster ships what happened and they chase us,” said John. He summoned his magical seals and had every element of the ship move. The removing the sails from their secured lines, the helm being stirred, and to support his work Vivian summoned the wind to push them away from the port and further to international waters.
They did not stop until they saw Gotham as just mountains and torches lighting it.
Tired, both John and Vivian laid on the deck, panting. Approaching them, Bruce sat beside Vivian and offered them both a plate of food – bread, fruit, and bacon. He cooked the bacon just right.
“Finally,” said John. “You made yourself useful.”
Batman glared at him but that glare faltered as Vivian placed a kiss on his cheek. “Thank you, my love,” she said to him and took a bite off the bacon.
Unable to hold it any longer, Bruce had her face him so he could place a kiss on her lips. He just swallowed salt water earlier, it was enough to wash away whatever he vomited earlier. John let out a loud cough, breaking their kiss.
“If you want to go all lovey-dovey, do it inside,” John pointed to the door. “We still have time to kill for the Eye of Chronos to fix itself, and for you to recharge. So don't tire her out, Bats.”
Sighing, Vivian patted Bruce's cheek and got up, bringing him with her, but before they went inside, Vivian leaned down and placed a kiss on John's cheek and hugged him. “Thank you, John,” she said.
“No problem, love… now go be with your husband,” he squeezed her hand and lets her go.
~*~
The captain's quarters was spacious with it holding the books, records, maps, the table where he conducts his business, and his very own bed at the corner. Vivian set their plate on the table and went through the captains’ things, and when she found what she was looking for she said, “aha!” She held out the bottle of scotch from the drawer.
“Should you be drinking?” Bruce asked.
“I deserve one after a very long day,” she told him as she opened the bottle and gulped a couple of times. “That's more than enough.” She went to take a bite from the bacon and bread. Casting spells was starving work and she just realized that she hasn't eaten since they went to the Watchtower too! She definitely needed food now.
But how can she eat when Bruce started kissing her. He trailed his lips from the exposed part of her shoulder and up to her neck where he knew made her moan.
“I missed you,” he said against her skin. He purposely bit on that spot making her moan. “I missed touching you like this. I miss feeling you. Tasting you…” his hand was pulling up her skirts until he felt the skin of her thigh and he rubbed her there and was slowly hiking up to his goal.
“God, Vivian,” He breathed out as he brushed fingers at sex and slowly moved between her folds where she was already wet. “Don't be loud, Constantine is just outside… and these have thin walls.”
Vivian turned to him and said, “I don't care,” she kissed his lips. “I miss my husband and I want you now.” Holding his free hand, she led him to her breast where the ribbon was loose and he could reach inside. She moaned into his lips as he pushed his fingers in her.
“I don't know how I survived centuries without you,” Bruce kissed jaw line. “Without this.”
Vivian laughed. He was right on centuries but she doubts that was literally how long he's been celibate. Still, considering they can't have a week without making love or fucking one another, a month was long for them. Though she didn't want to, Vivian pulled his hand away from her sex she could face him. She brushed her fingers across his beard, seeing some of the strands were white, and how it was unkempt. She missed looking into those eyes.
“I'm sure you want to know what's happening at home,” she said with a smile. “Things are a mess in Gotham since they found out Batman was gone, but Dick is leading them to get everything back in order –”
“I don't want to talk about Gotham right now. I care for our family but right now, while we're trapped here in this ship, at this time, let me be with you, Viv. Let me be a husband first,” Bruce leaned on her forehead. “Let me touch my wife who I have missed so much and have hurt by leaving her.”
“It wasn't your fault.”
“But you had to go through all of it.”
“Casualties of the job.”
“Incompetence,” Bruce kissed her. “I'm not just Batman anymore, Viv. I'm a father. I'm your husband, and I have my vows to you that even death can't break.”
He skillfully pulled the strings that held her corset and removed it from her entirely, followed by the bralette, and the skirts and underwear, leaving her naked before him. He brushed his fingers on the red marks left by the corset, tracing them until they stopped before it could mark her breasts.
Under her gaze, he took off his clothes and threw each one of them to the floor. Both naked, Bruce and Vivian looked at each other's bodies, familiarizing themselves of anything that has changed during their time apart. Nothing has changed but for some new scars he got.
Unable to hold himself anymore, Bruce lifted her off the ground, sweeping her off her feet and making Vivian laugh. He laid her on the captain's bed and hovered over her body. He took his time memorizing her face again before leaning down to kiss her lips and her neck.
Her body felt like it was on fire in all the right places as his mouth moved from her collarbone, to her chest, and to her breast. She dug her fingers to his back, earning a grunt of pleasure from him, as he ran his tongue across her nipple.
“Bruce!” She moaned out his name as she felt him press himself on her sex. He would only brush against her over and over but never giving what has been building inside at the pit of her stomach. She arched her back a bit more to brush against him again, this earned a smile from him.
“Please,” she breathed, grasping to his lower back to emphasize the need. “Bruce, please.”
Bruce dragged his tongue up her belly and to her breast again, taking his time there, and then trailed kisses on her face. And as he nestled at the crook of her neck, she felt him smile as Bruce thrust into her in a long, powerful stroke — and bit down on her to hide his loud moan.
But she didn't.
He stayed there for a moment, overwhelmed with feeling her again until Vivian started moving her hips then he began to move with her. Setting a lazy, smooth pace as he looked up to her for a kiss. His pace increased as his kisses became fierce, his tongue tangled with hers. When it wasn't enough, he pulled away from her lips and held her thighs, pinning her down to the bed as he moved deeper, harder.
Their moans and grunts, and the creaking of the bed overpowered the sound of the ship rocking with the waves of the sea. Neither cared as they were too preoccupied reuniting with one another.
He came into her, spasm after spasm filled her inside, and the feeling of him also triggered her climax. But this wasn't enough. They've made love as husband and wife, this time Bruce wanted to fuck her. Pulling out, making them both moan and their mixed essence coming out, he whispered to Vivian his desire and with a nod she turned her back on him and got on all fours, her arms bracing against the wall.
Bruce held her hips and aligned his erection to her again and pushed deep, deeper than he could earlier. Vivian let out an incoherent moan as he hit that deep spot and held his hand on her hips. When he didn't move she pushed back, making her hum in pleasure as she felt him pressing to that area.
Seeing her need, Bruce pulled back and began this wilder pace. Going deeper than he did earlier to feel more of her, getting wilder in this frenzy of pleasure. He has shown to her earlier how much he missed her, now he'll show what she brings out of him. This animal who craves her euphoric touch and taste that would only come out in their bedroom.
“I can feel you get harder inside me,” she moaned. “You can go harder, I want all of you.’
Bruce leaned down and kissed her back as he moved her legs wider giving him more room to dive deeper into her, pushing to the hilt.
“Yes!” Vivian gasped.
At this point all rational thinking was gone. This was their purest form and it felt great to do something like this again. Reaching her ear, Bruce whispered, “Hold onto the wall,” before pulling her back against him and guiding her hands to the wooden surface in front of them, and found another way to hit another spot that made her moan louder and clench around him.
His hands roamed all over her body – flicking her clit, squeezing her breast, biting her shoulder.
He suddenly took himself out of her, and before she could protest, he had her lying down again, facing him – their initial position – and he gently pushed inside and out in a slow pace, letting Vivian feel every movement to trigger her climax again.
“I love you, Vivian,” he said as he made love to her again. “I love you.”
Panting, Vivian reached for his face and brushed his hair back as she said, “I love you, Bruce — ah! I think –”
Bruce smiled and kissed her. “Let go, my love. Just let go.”
She whispered his name as she came, and he came with a strangled moan and buried himself deep in her. Filling her up with his climax. He was about to make a move to pull out, but Vivian grasped him by his bottom and told him to stay. Kissing her again, he laid there with her, side by side, and their legs tangled as he held her tight until they fell asleep.
~*~
Exiting the captain's quarters, with Bruce wearing the same clothes he had while Vivian wearing the captain's clothes she found in the closet, the two were greeted by a grumpy John Constantine who had breakfast on the deck floor and was drinking a bottle of scotch. When Vivian went to get a piece of bacon, Constantin slapped her hands away.
“John,” she said.
“Wash you fucking hands before you even touch one of these,” John told her. “Aye, I heard all of it. You both didn't seem to care didn't you? I got the whole audio show out here. Not even the fucking waves helped or that demon I called to play a song could drown out your sound. Bunch animals you two are.”
“Sorry,” she winced. “I cleaned up. Hands are clean too, may I?”
John gestured to the food but his frown was still there. When Bruce sat down, he eyed the man up and down and said, “I told you not to tire her out last night.”
“I didn't,” said Bruce as he handed Vivian a piece of bread and bacon. “What now?”
“We go home. I don't know about you two, but I miss the modern age where walls are thick to keep certain things in the bedroom,” he got out the Eye of Chronos. “If you please, Vivian?”
“I'm still eating,” Vivian told him.
“You can eat when we get home. Have Alfred make you a proper feast for the three of us.”
Sighing, Vivian dusted her hands and got up. Following her lead were the two men who prepared themselves for the journey. “Into the light, I command thee.” She summoned her Phoenix form, then called for the seals of time to her arm. They placed the alignments in their proper order and this time, Vivian used her locket as an anchor to get them back.
~*~
Vivian groaned at the harsh landing. At first it was on soft ground, this time it was cold metal. Getting up, she found herself on the floor of the Watchtower meeting room where the Justice League were gathered to discuss a concern – maybe – but all looked at them as they recovered from their harsh landing.
“Are you alright?” Bruce came to her side immediately to help her up.
“Peachy,” Vivian muttered.
“We'll work on the landing next time,” John told her as he remained lying on the floor. “So, that's it then. I'll be off – back to my normal life,” he got up, and corrected his clothes. “If you need me, call her first,” he pointed at Vivian. “See you around, Vee!”
“Constantine, wait!” Superman called for him but the Englishman was gone. Turning to Batman and Vivian, Superman greeted his old friends with an embrace and said, “I'm glad you're both back.”
“How's Gotham?” Bruce asked immediately.
“Well, Nightwing's got everything under control. You – Vivian and John were only gone for a couple of hours. The sun is just about to come up in Gotham.”
“Good,” Vivian groaned as she stretched her back. “Means I can still help in making breakfast for the kids. Before we go, here.” She conjured the parasite that Bruce threw up in the cell. “That's for you. If you'll excuse us, we'll be heading home now.”
“Batman, we need to discuss what happened to you,” said Wonder Woman.
“And protocol requires you to be in quarantine –”
“Trust me, I don't need quarantine,” said Bruce as he held Vivian's hand. “What I need is a bath – a long and hot bath, and time with my family.”
Clark smiled. “We'll call you if there's anything urgent. Cyborg, help Batman and the Phoenix to the Boomtube to get home.”
“No need, I got it,” Vivian opened a portal and both of them went in. Leaving the Justice League with dead parasites in animated suspension.
“Are you sure we're not gonna try and send another invitation for her to join the League?” Hal asked.
“Don't bother,” Clark sighed.
~*~
“They should be back by now,” Jason muttered as they got up to the manor from the cave.
“Jason, it's not that easy, you know,” said Tim as he pulled off his mask and cape. “Man, I hope breakfast is ready now.”
“It's time, Tim. They can get back earlier if they want.”
Dick sighed. “Both of you, stop it. We had a long night. Let's just wait for Vivian. Superman will tell us if something's wrong.”
“But how do they know that something is wrong, Grayson?” Damain questioned him.
“Because Vivian left a timer for us. If they're not back within twenty-four hours then there is something horribly wrong.”
Arriving at the kitchen, the Robins were greeted by Alfred setting the table with breakfast being mountains of pancakes, bacon and sausages, eggs, coffee, hot chocolate, whip cream, berries. Their mouths started watering at the sight of the feast before them.
“Any reason for the big breakfast, Alfred?” Duke asked.
“It's a celebration,” Vivian came out of the kitchen holding her favorite mug and following her was Bruce, clean shaved and wearing his usual shirt. “And I miss pancakes.”
In an instant, the Robins errupted in gasps and shouts as they called for them, “Bruce!”, “Vivian!”, “Ma!”, “You're back!”
Damian was the first to embrace his father and then turned to Vivian and said, “You both got back.”
“I promised I would, didn't I?” She told him. She then stretched out her arm to Jason who waited for her to notice him and brought him to an embrace, and then Tim who was more than happy to see her again.
Bruce was mostly caught in Cassandra's tight hug but he managed to thank Dick for keeping everything together, and Duke who was standing there just happy to see them back.
“Let's eat,” Bruce told them.
Everyone went to their proper seats with Bruce at the head of the table and Vivian to his left, Alfred right across from him, and the rest finding their places. All seats were now occupied but for one.
“Are we expecting someone?” Tim asked.
Right on cue, John Constantine appeared, dressed in his usual get up and took the place across Vivian. “I only came because she said there's real food,” he told them. “And I was tired with whatever it was they cooked at that time.”
“Guest first,” Vivian told him.
John had three pancakes, two sausages and bacon floating to his plate and had butter and syrup. “Do whatever you want, I'll be having my meal in peace.” He told them, and everyone took their piece.
As they ate together as a family, a lot of questions were asked about their little adventure through time and what Bruce looked like as a pirate. All questions were answered but other details to the question of, “why did it take you so damn long to come back?” were avoided. By the end of their breakfast, the Robins went to their respective rooms and homes to get a good sleep before starting their day.
Alone in the living room, Vivian sat with Ace on her lap, while John enjoyed the leather seat with his whiskey. Bruce was on the phone with Lucius Fox about settling things with the lawyers and to immediately announce his return with the fake story about his plane being found by Superman and he was immediately brought to the hospital and was given privacy.
As Bruce discussed with Alfred the things they needed to fix tomorrow – because today he wanted to stay with his family — Vivian called to John and said, “The Eye of Chronos was never broken, wasn't it?”
“My fat arse did flatten it,” He replied.
“But it never really needed a recharge. Right?”
John sighed and smiled. “You deserved it. The both of you. Before coming back to this.”
Vivian smiled and said, “Thank you, John. For everything.”
“Even for trying to kill you?” He joked.
“Yes… while it was still horrible what happened that night, if it didn't happen, I don't think I would have found this life. I wouldn't have found Bruce… so thank you.”
John smiled and raised his glass to her. “You're welcome, Vee.”
#batman#batman x reader#bruce wayne#dc fanfic#dc comics#dc universe#fanfic#dc batman#batman fanfiction#batfam#justice league dark#john constantine
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Actually I'm deleting the app. Peace out Tumblr, its been a hell of a decade.
Cohost, Bluesky, twitter, Steam, Twitch, and Discord are all: Windfaemaiden
Might be all lowercase on Discord, and thats the best place to reach me. After that I might be on Cohost, my Twitter is a bit dead, and bluesky is. Eh. Talk to me on steam if you wanna game.
My alt accounts here are Windfaemaiden for my art blog, and my alt blog which is 18+ is mothgirlmilk.
I might check desktop tumblr in a while but this place has become too hostile and its just painful. I met the love of my life here by talking about Metroid. I love this girl so much and the place we met has been so actively hostile I just can't be here any more and it sucks so much. I get sentimental about so many things and I'm crying over losing the place I met my wife. Fuck.
I'm gonna miss a lot of you, if we ever even exchanged a reply or dm or ask or two, I would love to hear from you in the future. If this place gets better I might even be back, who knows. So many of you have become friends and people in my circle who I love to learn about.
💕💕💕💕💕
#runa diary#Maxine if you see this I'm sobbing rn this sucks so much#It feels like I'm leaving a little bit of both of in the past.#Like. Idk. This is where we met. This is where we met ;;^;;#I know I get to see you in person now and we have so many ways to talk now#But I think I'm just remembering our little talks on here and memories that I guess were made here#And its making me sob. Buh.#I love seeing your little thoughts and I love seeing you get excited about things and I love seeing the side of you#That I initially fell in love with#If you ever feel like it I'd love little messages just talking about the kind of stuff you say here. I love small talk with you#Thats what I'm gonna miss the most.#Just. Your presence in a place I can visit from my phone.#ily Maxie I'll talk to you in the morning love <3#This is a love letter to ourselves from over 2 years ago and how we met and fell in love
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Now this might be because I have issues but is it just me or does Slay The Princess feel like an allegory for a relationship?
#like i dont even mean the actual textual stuff like the two gods loving each other i mean like#while the narrator himself does say that he is not the protagonist at all the voices do in fact count him as one of them and#both the narrator and the voices are described as shattered glass pieces on the floor#and im saying that just to contextualise what im about to say because i feel like the narrator is an echo of someone who was in#a relationship with another person and is trying to 'slay' the memory of this person and defeat death not only literally but#on a metaphorical level (as in the death of a relationship). if you do slay her you destroy her memory and in that way you do not know her#at all nor do you care to#and the routes would be the perspectives held by different parts of you. shes literally a being that changes based on who perceives her#but metaphorically thats just how people work isnt it? relationships are complicated and there is a part of you who sees someone as a razor#and there is a part of you who sees them as a damsel and another who sees them as a god etc etc#its like youre a person who is trying to make sense of the situation and; which is why the construct of the princess is made up of#several vessels called perspectives. you understand the whole of what you think only when you take apart all your perspectives;#and theres a you who isnt you anymore who doesnt want to do this. hes telling you to just destroy it. it was wholly wretched and wholly bad#and it changed which is a crime in itself. theres an echo of you. and theres you; built by this echo because thats how the self works#we are each our own god and we build ourselves. the different voices are like different parts of you#much like the vessels are the equivalent of the voices. theyre the finite confined perspectives; aspects of a whole person#and slaying her in this context would obviously mean literally just destroying the memory and deciding that change and all it brings#is an awful thing. though im not yet sure what the difference between leaving with the whole and between separating yourself#and leaving with just an aspect would be.#thats probably like the only thing thats kinda ruining this interpretation lol#oh and obviously a lot of the routes have like very strong relationship symbolism. specifically a lot of them feel like#scenes from a relationship that is falling apart. for example in the adversary and then the fury when you run away the dialogue#basically mimics a partner running away from a conflict and the other one destroying themselves because of it#witch and the thorn are both heavily Esop-coded and the text itself says that its about two people hurting each other even though they love#each other but both are afraid of the other one and of being vulnerable. thorn is about finding forgiveness in one another#and deciding to be better and love each other despite the hurt youve caused each other due to your problems#etc etc#like am i insane am i mental am i projecting?
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growing up in a generation where a random text message of love causes an instinctive knee-jerk reaction of 'they are not okay right now, they are dying, they need help'. is a truly horrifying thought.
#i remember first doing this at 14.#i didn't sleep at all that night and kept talking to him. trying to convince him to keep living. i know i will never forget that#then again a couple months later with a person i'd never met before but had been playing with online for years.#i clearly remember the numb aftertaste. and it doesn't get any easier each time.#i never regret it. seriously that's not my point here#but what i'm saying is; how would my life have turned out otherwise? if i didn't text back? if it didn't work? if i couldn't help them?#yk the butterfly effect and all#we really were just kids growing up trying to convince each other to keep living. i hope we are doing okay now.#i hope adulthood gave us the freedom to actually make a life for ourselves.#and i hope we all made it to adulthood; foolishly naive that it may be.#when i told you that i cared i wasn't lying. when i said i always would i wasn't lying.#i may not know your names anymore but remember your souls and will always cherish our memories. i hope we all made it to graduation <3#rambles#ineptias loquor
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Just reread the waterbed place scene for the first time in 9 years, how in the world did the school let 4th graders read this
#raineyrambles#it’s obviously not that bad but I could see a teacher being like hey maybe this isn’t made for 9 year olds#now I’m curious did my teacher read this part out loud or did we read it to ourselves??#it’s so strange how much of these last few chapters I have very little memory of#but then again it has been like 9 years so lol#pjo reread#percy jackson
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Woah... Yuri Day...
Tenebrosity from @reflections-of-mobius
#[the rat that makes all the rules | mod alex]#[burned by the gods | enlightened hope]#my art#[rhythm of the night | tenebrosity]#[we keep this love in a photograph/we made these memories for ourselves: translucent nightmares]
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oh god what do we call a world that simultaneously exists as two mirrored versions at once
#we figured out some confusion with sources#bc we'd get an introject that would say 'I'm [Guy A] from [World A]'#and then we would get Guy B who is actually just Guy A and also from World A but they're. separate people. with different memories#turns out there's two worlds that exist in the same place at the same time on top of and within each other#the thing that got this to click was the echoes because of course#bc in source: the echoes are fragments broken from a god's soul and the fragments got placed into bodies to grow and heal#until the fragments could reunite (which; fuck that we're not erasing ourselves for a father we never knew)#and the Percy fragment was placed into Maxwell's body and they coexisted for years#until Percy was separated from the human body and given their own leaving Maxwell on its own#and a lot of people we know on Paradox (where Percy is from) have copies on Voidworld (the two mirror worlds' old now less accurate name)#so we have Paradox Owen and Voidworks (aka Voidworld Owen) or Ro (paradox) and Lucas (void)#but then we found ANOTHER voidworld owen with a DIFFERENT BACKSTORY and a different home and everything#and we thought we solved that problem (oh yeah Helios made a paradox machine maybe that split Voidworks in two?)#but no the WORLD is split in two. because we already had a Void Percy (aka Ochre) and we know them well in sys#but just recently we found a Void Maxwell!#which- because of the fact that Maxwell and Percy shared a body for so many years there SHOULDN'T BE a separate Void Maxwell#in fact there shouldn't be a void percy AT ALL considering they're not FROM EARTH (these are all different versions of earth)#Ochre logically should be MAXWELL'S void version not Percy's#but Ochre is NOT Maxwell. Ochre is Percy.#We've found Nate#who seems to be Void Maxwell#specifically Maxwell#but like#WE HAVE THE SAME BIO FAMILY IN EVERY EARTH HOW IS THERE TWO OF THEM WHEN ONLY ONE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE BORN#and Nate and Ochre aren't like. twins or something. they aren't even RELATED. WHO IS NATE'S FAMILY?????????
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I just read a goodreads book review that made me angrier than any inconsequential thing has made me in a WHILE. I loved the book, and I'm not a good critic of novels (or anything); I'm decent at analysis to be fair, but I like a read or I don't (on a spectrum of course).
But good goddamn, this review reeked with pretension and was written like the most unbearable food or music critic's diatribes. Adult character is lost in life, makes stupid choices out of grief/running away from issues/thinking distance from community will help/doesn't act logically as a character in a horror plot? Childish and not very bright! A large bustling family coming together for a major cultural and spiritual threat and asking the same damn questions over and over again, repeating the same arguments, etc.? Tiresome and muddled! Bro is your family (bio or chosen) totally chill? Have you never at least seen (in media or in others' lives) annoying family members beating dead horses for days on end out of concern and love and lack of knowing how else to help???
Dude I dunno, it just felt like legitimate criticisms one might have if they dislike a book or parts of its structure, but then those criticisms were a molehill buried beneath a mountain of hating some super fuckin' flawed characters making wild and awful choices in a time of grief and isolation. Screaming!!!!
#this was a review about Bad Cree by Jessica Johns which i gave five stars btw#i am unreasonably pissed lmao#it was like...just. gripes for the sake of bitching and being unhappy woth a short read that didn't hit typical horror benchmarks. dumb.#it's about multiple generations of cree women in the same family and naturally had a LOT to do with the cumture#and experiences and practices and just. daily lives of cree women mixed with A Horror Plot#but i was still sooo reminded of the chaos and aggravation and love and power and hurt and again love#of when the women on my mom's side of the family congregate#and the connections and rifts and stories memories legends among us all that get passed around rather than#passed down because it all feels so circular. we all repeat ourselves endlessly lmao#like this made me yearn for my family because i saw and felt them in this cast of characters#i'm not indigenous or canadian but i still saw myself and my family in this book and it was such a unique experience#bc it was so goddamn familiar in the midst of learning about this horror plot and how it mixed with cree culture#im emotional and tired and not explaining myself well. but JESUS i cannot wait for Johns to publish her next work#ann with an ie
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im going insane trying to work out what fuckin set it was that axwell ingrosso first dropped barricade
I FOUND IT ULTRA MIAMI 2015
#axel grinds on#me and my friend would listen to sets during graphic design class <3 i rember catchin up on the new ultra sets#and we just. shat ourselves at it#“oooo theres a new id in this set apparently?”#“YES EXCITING i cant wait for it”#“IS THIS THE FUCKING ID?”#“THIS IS AXWELL INGROSSO???????????”#the complete bewilderment of that . extrmeemly fond memory#it came outta left fucking field and was an extremely bewildering time it was wonderful#the STRUCTURE was all them but that sound most definitely was NOT#and then the fucking HIP HOP STYLED BRIDGE?#it didnt have vocals at that stage just this very clearly modelled after hiphop producion bridge#and like theyd been doin like radio friendly pop stage and then suddenly WUHHH#i was expecting another saccharine pop production and was HIT IN THE FUCKING FACE#me and my friend just exchanging absolute BEWILDERMENT#glorious. i miss following a dj really closely and shitting over IDs#madeon gang sorta gets it but you do not understand how it was#in the uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#house scene circa 2011-2016ish#yknow the uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. shit swedishhouse mafia made popular#alesso he was there remember alesso#what happened to alesso#is it ok if i hope hes doing ok#oh god i looked him up on spotify and he went the zedd route nooooo alesso noooooooooooooooo#now im thinking about alesso ids. man#clash id version >#wait.#yall remember when calvin harris stole clash lmaoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo#im old as balls bro#ive been playing this game so long and for what
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we made these memories for ourselves
Author: @beth-is-rainpaint
Chapters: 1/1
Rating: G
Archive Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Fandom: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Categories: F/M
Relationships: Leo Fitz/Jemma Simmons
Characters: Alya Fitzsimmons, Leo Fitz, Jemma Simmons, Enoch (Marvel), Deke Shaw, James Fitzsimmons (OC)
Additional Tags: Fluff, Birthday Fluff, Family Feels
Summary:
Most people think Alya Fitzsimmons was born in Scotland on January 27, 2016. Those closest to her know better: she was born on a plane-turned-spaceship, 154.65 light-years away, on January 27, 2020. But today she's turning seven, not three.
Being born in a time loop is weird.
Or, the Fitzsimmons family celebrates each year of Alya's life so far, in space and on earth.
Read the rest on Ao3!
#fitzsimmons#leo fitz#jemma simmons#alya fitzsimmons#enoch the chronicom#deke shaw#james fitzsimmons#fitzsimmons family#aos#agents of shield#agents of s.h.i.e.l.d.#my fic#we made these memories for ourselves#SURPRISE#i wrote this entire fic yesterday lol
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went to my first con in 4 years on Friday to meet Kaiji Tang and got a Dazai autograph + video recording of him reading to me. He was the sweetest person (as I knew he would be) and interacting with him was lovely, but also at the same time oh boy it sure was an extremely stressful, ugly wake-up call of what it feels like to live in a world now where everyone around you has blissfully moved on from covid and can enjoy things normally and happily, while you'll forever be trapped in a hellscape of perpetual fear 🫠🫠🫠
#like. to be clear this was the first time i've been literally anywhere but doctor's appointments in 4 years#not just because of the pandemic but because of mental and physical exhaustion#so it was a Big Mistake to go from 0 to 100 and not ease myself into it at all#but at the same time........ it was a fucking hellscape of people. i don't think any kind of buildup could have prepared me for it at all.#it was so much less crowded in 2020 (ironically the very last place i ever went; literally on the BRINK of covid)#and now idk what it's become. a monster con. it was unbelievable.#but i was only there for less than an hour but i was so so so terrified that i very nearly left before even seeing him#i couldn't even fully enjoy meeting him as kind as he was because i was so anxious and distracted#and when i got back to the car i just fucking cried.........#the last five days i've just been sitting in fear waiting to feel Any sort of symptoms#i wore two masks and again was barely there for long but Still#and everyone around me was so chill as if everything was normal and No One was wearing a mask :))))) it's not fucking fair man :)))))#insert the 'they don't know' meme; they don't know how much covid can destroy your body even if you get a 'mild' case#i would never want to be that ignorant even if i wasn't disabled and didn't have reason to worry (but everyone has reason to worry!!!)#but also. ignorance is bliss and it just really fucking sucks man.#it really fucking sucks. why do they get to be happy and enjoying life and not /me?/#why can't i do just ONE thing for myself without having it tainted by anxiety and fear that i'm going to die horribly???#while they get to do fucking EVERYTHING???#if they all just wore masks we could all enjoy ourselves much more comfortably than some of us are now#but no that's too much to ask from people 🙃🙃🙃#shit sucks man. the world sucks. something that should be a happy memory for me was simultaneously the most awful experience#and i don't know how to feel about it now that it's over#he knew that i was afraid and at the end he told me that he hoped to see me again at another event someday#and that made me cry because it felt like dazai telling me to live. and i want to. but i don't know how to when the world is like this now.#i desperately want to be able to see him again someday but right now after how terrifying that was i never want to go to a con ever again..#i wanted to ask him things about the manga and about dazai but i was being rushed and stressed so i couldn't ugh#(and doing that is hard enough anyway cause disability and i have to talk with my phone bahhhh)#at least i was able to give him my note *sigh*
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we’re getting so many videos of the project and messages of people thanking us and talking about how beautiful and emotional it was and i can’t quite believe we actually made a rainbow project at Wembley happen
#this is absolutely down to Liz and JJ#and then the tens and tens of volunteers and all the people participating#but Liz and Jj i owe you guys my fucking life and you’re the best team i could’ve EVER asked for and it would never have happened without#you guys#we made it and we had the best time at the show and we are hoing to have the best time at the others as well and i’ll cherish these#moments and memories we make together doing this and killing ourselves queuing and crying over harry and#declaring he’s the love of our lives after shows and going on nighttime mcdonald’s hunts and cheering for each other#thank you for giving me all of this id take a bullet for you
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my favorite thing anybody’s ever said about me is still when i was involuntarily committed for a failed You Know What attempt early in the pandemic and there was group therapy like 3 times a day that “wasn’t mandatory” but if you didn’t go they’d put it on your record that you “didn’t seem motivated” and you’d have to stay there longer and anyway each time they did it they’d go around the room and have you say a goal and mine was always some variation of “to get out of this place and go home” and one time when i said it some guy was like, “wow, she REALLY doesn’t want to be here!” like real as hell king i really don’t
#realistically i know this happened in august 2020 and thus was not even 3 years ago. but it feels like at least 6 lifetimes have gone by#my other distinct memory from that group therapy is this sheet they made us fill out#that was like each letter of the alphabet and we had to come up with something we liked about ourselves for it. so 26 things#like fucking. idk. P for ‘pretty.’ S for ‘smart.’ shit like that#and i only came up with 5 for mine and i spent most of the time looking at the guy who was sitting next to me#(who i fucking hated because he was white and kept using the n-word repeatedly)#and he was just writing down random words for each letter. like for T he wrote ‘truck’#and i remember sitting there and thinking that if i was a character on a tv show#that would be one of those moments that the viewers love to analyze the shit out of#like i was literally sitting there in the mental hospital thinking that.#which i think is honestly a better reason to be in the mental hospital than the fact that i had just tried to kill myself
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this year has been really definitive for me in terms of healing, listening to my own needs, moving on from relationships and reconciling broken ones. there's also something about november (and the fall season in general) that makes me ruminate about my growth, so i'm in this cute little mood now where i'm feeling really proud of myself for the decisions i've made this year. some of them were extremely difficult decisions but now that i'm living my life just fine (in fact better) after having made them, i think they were for the better and i'm glad i took that leap of faith.
i also think i'm finally starting to put myself first. and a telltale sign of this remarkable progress is that i've been thinking more about how i'd like to start living for myself and how i should make that happen. i'm finally making plans and time not for anyone else, but for myself.
anyway nov has been really lovely so far and i think i'm incredibly lucky to have experienced everything that i have this month. <3
#i've not journalled anything personal here in a long time... this is one of the places where i feel the safest so here i am#i'm currently reading a book that loosely translates to 'Even If You're Grown and Old It's Fine to Feel Sad' and the author shares that-#-there is no such thing as a right or wrong decision. we make decisions that our hearts think are the best for us at that point in time#n the decisions that we regret are just friendly reminders to our future selves to learn from these experiences and do better for ourselves#i think i will always feel a tinge of regret whenever i think about some of the poorest decisions i've made but i hope-#-this regret doesnt ever erase the good experiences i've had bc i would hate to forget those pleasant memories and be consumed by resentmen#anyway i hope we'll all be happy <3 that's all im saying#personal
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its real nice having nonhuman friends bc idk. not having the constant fear of beinf nonhuman with human friends is real nice . source was a little cray zee
#jay & brian soup again but we share that memory soo#inhuman beasty boys#not having to hide ot anymore we are allowed to meow and we wont be made fun of#we're allowed to be Ourselves withoht the fear that theyd want me dead
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tag dump
#✖plotted starter║with a candle through time i could still see your ghost but i can't close my eyes for it is there where you haunt me most#✖mobile post║& i sat in regret of all the things i've done for all that i've blessed & all that i've wronged#✖psa║a reaper's guarantee of responsibility#✖music║again this evening ancient rain is singing the same ancient song#✖saved║those painful memories are what help us make it to tomorrow & become stronger#✖wishlist║you don't have to be a ghost here amongst the living#✖open starter║how can i blame the cherry blossoms for rejecting this floating world & drifting away as the wind calls them?#✖dash games║i liked the bittersweet taste of danger touching my lips#✖dash commentary║so how do i apologize & put the tears back in your eyes?#✖meta║the glass of my intentions turns to sand & shatters in my hand#✖character study║the last person I have to save is me & in the end we are the only ones who can save ourselves#✖headcanon║death & i have been scandalously intimate for some time now#✖hae dae-soo║there’s a black bird perched outside my window he burns me with his eyes of gold to embers he sees all my sins he reads my sou#✖gop-dan║others may forget you but i am haunted by your beautiful ghost#✖the jade emperor║there was something beautiful & tragic in the way that she waged war#✖lim ryung-gu║i know the pain that you hide behind the smile on your face#✖park joong-gil║solace lies in the ritual of remembering the dead & yet he cannot find solace in his rotted ribcage made of anger & grief#✖choi joon-woong║does it make me unique to hold hands with the grim reaper rather than go to the angel?#✖koo ryeon║how many nights does it take to count the stars? that's the time it would take to fix my heart
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